fiona

In case it wasn't obvious, I kind of love my cat. A lot (maybe too much). We adopted her from the Ojai Valley Animal Shelter almost 3 years ago, when she was only a few months old. She grew from a shy, scrawny little creature into a big (14 pounds!) kitty who loves snuggling with me and attacking The Husband.

Fiona isn't very a good huntress. She has never successfully caught any sort of creature, not even a moth. Once, we watched her try to attack a tiny spider. She'd run at it, almost pounce, then wimp out and run away squealing in terror. This cycle repeated itself for almost an hour. The spider survived (easily).

We have to put vases of flowers (I always have flowers!) in places Fiona cannot reach, because she likes to chew the flower buds off of the stems.

Fiona loves to hang out in the bathroom sink while I'm putting on makeup. It's as annoying as you think it is.

Fiona also likes to jump in the bathtub as soon as you're done with your shower, or at least lurk between the shower curtains. It's as creepy as you think it is.

Fiona is good at fetch. If you throw a crumpled piece of paper, she will race after it and bring it back to you (or at least halfway back, depending on her mood).

Fiona doesn't have any sort of survival instincts or typical cat street smarts. When something scares her, she either falls on her back with her belly exposed (think fainting goat) or runs to her scratcher and hides her head underneath it. She thinks that if her head is hidden, she's safe, which puts her self-preservation instincts on par with a toddler's. 

Fiona is the most affectionate cat I have ever encountered. She loves to curl up on The Husband's lap or my shoulder. If she is sleeping next to me, she will reach out a paw to make sure she is touching me. Her happiest moments are when she can touch The Husband and I simultaneously while sleeping. She also likes to sleep on television remotes. It's weird.

Fiona likes to lay on a shelf between the kitchen and living room and swipe at anyone who walks by. Considering you have to squeeze by the shelf to get into the kitchen, she gets a lot of targets to hit. This makes The Husband really mad.

Whenever The Husband first gets out of bed in the morning, Fiona chases him and bites his feet while he tries to walk. He swears loudly at her throughout the process and I laugh. It's a good way (for me) to start the day.

Fiona is a complete nut and a bit more high-maintenance than your average cat, but we can't help but love her. She's been the queen of the house for the past three years, so we shall see what happens when baby girl arrives and knocks her off of her throne. Until then, we will keep enjoying her crazy ways. 

ready.

Last week, I had a dream that I was holding our little girl. It was a wonderful dream. I'm glad for these nine months of preparation, but I am officially (emotionally) ready to meet this girl. Less than two months ago, I was still adjusting to the fact that I was even pregnant, and now I'm impatient for the next step. Oh how things change so quickly.

(nyc. i told the husband that if he wears a khaki shirt and khaki pants, i will assume he is a zookeeper and knows everything about animals. guess what he wore nearly every day on our trip?)

On the practical side, I am definitely grateful for a bit more time. There's a lot we need to do, including a much-dreaded trip to Ikea for a crib, armchair, and all the magical little Ikea items we never know we need until we are there. And we almost filed for divorce last night after trying to put together a baby bouncer for an hour. The wonders of parenthood are already upon us.

PS. I found a website that clearly explained how all the state and federal maternity leave laws come together, which is pretty much a miracle. Check it out here: http://www.hellobee.com/2012/11/19/maternity-leave-in-california/ (applies to CA only).

thoughts on pregnancy thus far

(took this photo right after we found out we were expecting)

At just over halfway through, I finally have the energy and ability to reflect on the past few months and what is to come. I honestly don't have much to say, besides that I am very content and happy. Before getting pregnant, I was worried that I wouldn't be 'good' at it - that I'd eat the wrong things, or miss wine too much, or not be able to attend to my daily life, or be too emotional / depressed to thrive. Looking back, that was just typical worrywart Stephanie coming out, and I now realize my fears were unfounded and that I am generally stronger than I sometimes think I am. Being pregnant has been a wonderful experience and I've tried to appreciate every moment of it. Even the "hung over on a boat"-feeling of morning sickness, and the worries about if baby girl is doing okay, and the weight gain that has slightly bruised my ego. Especially the little kicks I feel daily (which on a sentimental level are amazing, on a purely physical level are weird), the tenderness and happiness that emanates from The Husband whenever he looks at my belly, and the excitement we both feel at meeting this little girl next year.

(8 week ultrasound)

I think a huge reason why I have been so happy and content is that this pregnancy is planned and wanted (I feel even more strongly pro-choice now than before I got pregnant because this is a lot to go through and should be chosen, not forced upon someone). I am proud of us for making life decisions that had our future family in mind for the past 6 years; these decisions are allowing us to grow our family without significant logistical concerns. The Husband and I have also grown and matured together over the course of our relationship, and I am so grateful to be in such a stable, healthy, and happy relationship that is full of passion and laughter. I mean, no one's ever 100% prepared for a child (I honestly have no idea what to expect next year!), but we have done our best with what is within our control, and have faith that the rest of it will work out. We will do our best to be good parents who raise children with a sense of responsibility, empathy, and positivity. Any failings we will have will not come from lack of trying, at least.

(taken just before rushing out the door for a concert. 22 1/2 weeks.)

As for giving birth, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not nervous about the experience. Childbirth sounds, honestly, kind of scary, though I'm trying to view it as an overall positive experience (and if all else fails, at least I'll get a baby out of it). I don't really have a super strong opinion about how I give birth. I'd prefer to avoid a c-section just because it's major surgery, not because it would be taking away from my overall birth experience or some similar egotistical mindset like that. I'm not exactly looking forward to pain and will do my best to use breathing and relaxation for pain management, but I know I'll probably get an epidural if it gets to the point where I'm willing to sacrifice my mobility during labor to get pain relief. But who knows? Maybe I'll end up eating my words, but at least I accept that this experience may go one of several ways and that as long as our little girl is healthy and okay at the end, I will be okay, too.

our anniversary trip!

The Husband and I celebrated one wonderful year of marriage with a day trip out to Santa Cruz Island, part of the Channel Islands National Park off the coast of Santa Barbara. Santa Cruz Island has an amazing history. The Channel Islands have never been attached to the mainland, so there are many native species found nowhere else in the world. Santa Cruz had also been used for ranching, sheep raising, grape growing, and a ton of other functions in the 1800 - 1900s, before the island was purchased by the NPS. It is currently being restored to its original / native state.

happy birthday, husband!

(isn't the husband handsome?)

Happy birthday to The Husband! You are my favorite person in the entire world. I am so glad that we are so  in love and happy together. You understand me better than anyone else, you are my partner in crime, and my closest confidante. I don't know how I lucked out with you, and am so happy to celebrate you turning 32. Remember when we first started dating and you were 26 and I was 21 and I would (and still) call you an old man? Yeah, never going to stop doing that. I love you.

on patience (earned)

I used to be an incredibly impatient person. For as long as I could remember, I had always been anxiously awaiting something, anything. It's a stressful and exhausting way to live, honestly. I don't recommend it.

As life progresses and I grow older, I am finding myself capable of patience and acceptance, in ways and in circumstances that my younger self would never have been able to handle. Part of this change stems from a changing perception of time - it's no joke that the older you get, the faster time seems to go by. Sorry to my mom and dad for all the times I rolled my eyes at them when they said that sort of thing to me. 

Another part of this comes from the time and effort I have invested in creating a happy life and healthy environment for myself. The happier and more at peace you are to begin with, the easier it is to maintain that peace and positivity in the face of difficult moments. Prioritizing my own happiness seemed like a selfish and petty thing to do at first. Shouldn't I be more worried about saving the world / changing my community / helping others? Well, I have learned being happy makes it much easier to do all those things; happiness is the root of a good life, it impacts things both great and small. The younger me would have scoffed at my excitement about finding the perfect nail polish color - isn't that such a trivial thing and wouldn't my time be better spent reading ____ or ruminating on the existence of _____? But now I know that, while the nail polish itself isn't important, those little bits of happiness really are. They add up to a well-rounded perspective. Volunteering at the animal shelter brings a different kind of happiness than laying on the grass in the sun at the courthouse; helping others is certainly the more honorable action, but both are important and necessary in their own ways. Life is not exclusively grand gestures and great accomplishments. Neither is love, or happiness. It is the sum of the whole.

(fresh flowers...another little thing I enjoy so much)

The final great contributor to my level of patience is faith. That the journey will never be too long or too hard for me to handle. That life will never be completely without some sort of pain or struggle, and that is okay, because I am stronger than I think. That everything is temporary, nothing is permanent. Things are always changing, and that means that even if things are bad right now, they won't be in the future. I may not know when or how, but I know things will get better. The good and the bad are always changing, always fluctuating, and you either learn to ride those waves and stay afloat or you drown. To me, being patient is choosing to believe that things will be wonderful, maybe not on your own timeframe but that they truly will be...

happy birthday

(this photo is followed by a photo of us cracking up in a group shot while everyone else looks somber)

Happy birthday to my amazing best friend! You're my spirit animal (and incredibly handsome, duh). I am so proud of how far you have come and how much you accomplished in just 27 years.....but not surprised in the least. I love you!

cabo san lucas

Thanks for all the love and support for my last post. Lots of texts, calls, and emails, all so inspiring and beautiful. The Internet can restore faith in humanity - who knew?

On a lighter note, I found some pictures from my trip to Cabo San Lucas with The Husband and some extended family in January. We've been there twice now, and one of our favorite places to eat and drink at is Hacienda Cocina y Cantina at Medano Beach. 

medano beach: everyone tries to sell you everything

seriously, this restaurant is so darn pretty

What's better than a mojito? 

i don't usually drink cocktails but holy cow this is the best mojito ever

 Answer: a GUAVA mojito!

when summer arrives, i will try to recreate this and post the recipe here

The food is also amazing. The Ensalada Hacienda is so refreshing and full of great fruits and veggies. It's not the easiest thing to find a meatless meal in Cabo. The Husband swears by the Carnitas tacos and we both fell in love with the Pollo con Mole de Puebla (chicken with mole, plantains, and rice).

the husband prefers a classic margarita. i secretly judge him for liking tequila.