fiona

In case it wasn't obvious, I kind of love my cat. A lot (maybe too much). We adopted her from the Ojai Valley Animal Shelter almost 3 years ago, when she was only a few months old. She grew from a shy, scrawny little creature into a big (14 pounds!) kitty who loves snuggling with me and attacking The Husband.

Fiona isn't very a good huntress. She has never successfully caught any sort of creature, not even a moth. Once, we watched her try to attack a tiny spider. She'd run at it, almost pounce, then wimp out and run away squealing in terror. This cycle repeated itself for almost an hour. The spider survived (easily).

We have to put vases of flowers (I always have flowers!) in places Fiona cannot reach, because she likes to chew the flower buds off of the stems.

Fiona loves to hang out in the bathroom sink while I'm putting on makeup. It's as annoying as you think it is.

Fiona also likes to jump in the bathtub as soon as you're done with your shower, or at least lurk between the shower curtains. It's as creepy as you think it is.

Fiona is good at fetch. If you throw a crumpled piece of paper, she will race after it and bring it back to you (or at least halfway back, depending on her mood).

Fiona doesn't have any sort of survival instincts or typical cat street smarts. When something scares her, she either falls on her back with her belly exposed (think fainting goat) or runs to her scratcher and hides her head underneath it. She thinks that if her head is hidden, she's safe, which puts her self-preservation instincts on par with a toddler's. 

Fiona is the most affectionate cat I have ever encountered. She loves to curl up on The Husband's lap or my shoulder. If she is sleeping next to me, she will reach out a paw to make sure she is touching me. Her happiest moments are when she can touch The Husband and I simultaneously while sleeping. She also likes to sleep on television remotes. It's weird.

Fiona likes to lay on a shelf between the kitchen and living room and swipe at anyone who walks by. Considering you have to squeeze by the shelf to get into the kitchen, she gets a lot of targets to hit. This makes The Husband really mad.

Whenever The Husband first gets out of bed in the morning, Fiona chases him and bites his feet while he tries to walk. He swears loudly at her throughout the process and I laugh. It's a good way (for me) to start the day.

Fiona is a complete nut and a bit more high-maintenance than your average cat, but we can't help but love her. She's been the queen of the house for the past three years, so we shall see what happens when baby girl arrives and knocks her off of her throne. Until then, we will keep enjoying her crazy ways.