Monday, February 25, 2013

i can do hard things

Nine months ago, I married The Husband. Best decision, hands-down, I have ever made. It has been the best nine months of our relationship and I have tried to treasure every moment of these early days of marriage. 

sands beach, january 2013. check out that channel island in the background.

I thought our lives would look very different by the time 2013 came around. These first months of my marriage have been quite the lesson in control and acceptance. After feeling hopeful, despairing, frustrated, numb, insecure, guilty (SO MUCH GUILT), and exhausted, I am sitting here today feeling hopeful yet again. I am hopeful that today will be the first day of tangible progress, but even if it's not, I will do everything I can to still have hope for progress in the future.

While I do not pray, I do hope. I don't necessarily have faith that this will be resolved, as reality has shown that sometimes it has other ideas in mind for the path that my life will take. I do, however, have faith that, despite how things end up, I have it in me to deal with this with as much dignity and grace I can muster. It's so silly, but I am so proud of myself for wearing mascara today. It is my promise to myself that, no matter what, I'll keep it together and face what comes with optimism and dry eyes.***

*** I struggled as to whether or not I should post this, as it's really personal. I've decided to do so in the hopes that putting this out there for others to read will help me hold myself accountable for how I deal with this stuff. Also, if this can help anyone else who is going through hard times feel a little less sad or isolated, that's a win, too.


  1. thank you for sharing darling. i dont know what is going on, and by no means am asking, but i know for sure, from experience, that everything will be ok :)

  2. You're not alone, this too will pass. Your positive thinking will help you resolve this and any other issue you'll encounter in your life. For every issue/problem there is a solution, it's just a matter of discovering it. As Natalie said, things will be ok.

  3. Sweetheart, always stay optimistic,but definitely wear waterproof mascara. Wet eyes are a sign of release, sometimes from hard times, sometimes from joy, and sometimes from enlightment by something so wonderfully overwhelming. I always wish you more of the latter two, but the first is also a part of life. Even if you don't have waterproof mascara, you have a family and a husband that will always support you, even with black streaks running down your face!